As my trip begins to draw to a close, I find myself looking at my experience in South Africa from a different perspective. Instead of enjoying the time I have left or appreciating the moments with the people I have come to love, I already find myself feeling reminiscent. The emotions I have been dealing with these past few weeks run deeper than sentimentality and nostalgia. In fact, my feelings cannot even be translated into the English language. Fortunately, the Portuguese word saudade perfectly describes the feeling of absence and longing I have already cultivated for South Africa… Well, at least almost.
When I left for South Africa in July, I did not anticipate that the other people in my program would become my best friends.
I did not plan on attending school and meeting people I could not go a day without speaking to. I did not envision myself dating or getting my heart broken.
I did not prepare myself for falling in love with Durban, a city I have become accustomed to calling home. When I left for South Africa in July, I cried going through airport security because I thought for a second that I was not capable of living outside of the U.S. on my own. Now the idea of returning to the United States is strange to me. How do you describe what it’s like to leave your comfort zone, and start over alone in a foreign country only to say goodbye? It is true what the say, studying abroad is extremely worthwhile. However, it is also a heart breaking experience.
Still, I cannot wait to be reunited with my friends and family and return to my home university. I am looking forward to the gifts and stories that I have been anxiously awaiting to exchange. I know it’ll only help me keep the memory of South Africa alive. I don’t know where I am going to go from here, adventure awaits! But I do hope that one day the decisions I make bring me back to South Africa once again.
I shall cherish my trip abroad always.
Want to read more about Durban? Check out “6 Reasons You Should Study Abroad in Durban, South Africa”